tiistai 19. huhtikuuta 2011

Deterioration Hittinhg Again

I overslept again yesterday. It was a real moment of truth for me, as I realized I was falling back to the old deterioration pattern, which usually by the end of the month means I'm practically monophasic.

It's different kind of tiredness that fucks me up always this late in the month. I feel drowsy, but not total zombie, so it kind of lulls you into this false sense of security - "I'll stay awake fine, I can even lie downzzzZZZZZZZ..."

But I'll try to interrupt that pattern now. To be honest I'm still lacking weapons to fight simple lack of discipline in getting up. When you are in that tired mode it's not the same mind thinking that usually is. That's why it's no use to get too upset to yourself - perhaps on the fact that you couldn't find a way to prevent it, but not the thing itself.

Last four days has been of oversleep - good day - oversleep - good day -pattern. I would like to notch up a few good days in a row for a change. It's not gonna be easy though. I really should train with alarm, but it just seems I never find the time.

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